Understanding
Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Domestic abuse and coercive control involve patterns of behaviour used to dominate, control, and harm intimate partners or family members. These experiences can have profound psychological impacts, affecting self-esteem, mental health, and the ability to recognise healthy relationships.
Understanding
Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Domestic abuse and coercive control involve patterns of behaviour used to dominate, control, and harm intimate partners or family members. These experiences can have profound psychological impacts, affecting self-esteem, mental health, and the ability to recognise healthy relationships.
Understanding
Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Domestic abuse and coercive control involve patterns of behaviour used to dominate, control, and harm intimate partners or family members. These experiences can have profound psychological impacts, affecting self-esteem, mental health, and the ability to recognise healthy relationships.
What does Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control feel like?
Living with domestic abuse and coercive control can feel like walking on eggshells constantly, never knowing what might trigger anger or punishment. You might experience confusion about what's normal in relationships, questioning your own perceptions and memories due to gaslighting and manipulation. Many survivors describe feeling isolated from friends and family, financially dependent, or trapped with nowhere to turn.
The psychological impact often includes anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and trauma responses. You may find yourself constantly monitoring your behaviour to avoid conflict, losing your sense of identity, or believing you're responsible for the abuse. The control can be so gradual and pervasive that recognising it as abuse becomes difficult, especially when periods of kindness create hope for change.
Common Symptoms
Constant anxiety, hypervigilance, or feeling unsafe at home
Loss of self-confidence and questioning your own judgement
Isolation from friends, family, and support networks
Financial dependence or control over resources
Trauma responses including flashbacks, nightmares, or panic attacks
Depression, hopelessness, or thoughts of self-harm
Physical symptoms like headaches, sleep disturbances, or chronic pain
Difficulty trusting others or recognising healthy relationship patterns
What does Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control feel like?
Living with domestic abuse and coercive control can feel like walking on eggshells constantly, never knowing what might trigger anger or punishment. You might experience confusion about what's normal in relationships, questioning your own perceptions and memories due to gaslighting and manipulation. Many survivors describe feeling isolated from friends and family, financially dependent, or trapped with nowhere to turn.
The psychological impact often includes anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and trauma responses. You may find yourself constantly monitoring your behaviour to avoid conflict, losing your sense of identity, or believing you're responsible for the abuse. The control can be so gradual and pervasive that recognising it as abuse becomes difficult, especially when periods of kindness create hope for change.
Common Symptoms
Constant anxiety, hypervigilance, or feeling unsafe at home
Loss of self-confidence and questioning your own judgement
Isolation from friends, family, and support networks
Financial dependence or control over resources
Trauma responses including flashbacks, nightmares, or panic attacks
Depression, hopelessness, or thoughts of self-harm
Physical symptoms like headaches, sleep disturbances, or chronic pain
Difficulty trusting others or recognising healthy relationship patterns
What does Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control feel like?
Living with domestic abuse and coercive control can feel like walking on eggshells constantly, never knowing what might trigger anger or punishment. You might experience confusion about what's normal in relationships, questioning your own perceptions and memories due to gaslighting and manipulation. Many survivors describe feeling isolated from friends and family, financially dependent, or trapped with nowhere to turn.
The psychological impact often includes anxiety, depression, hypervigilance, and trauma responses. You may find yourself constantly monitoring your behaviour to avoid conflict, losing your sense of identity, or believing you're responsible for the abuse. The control can be so gradual and pervasive that recognising it as abuse becomes difficult, especially when periods of kindness create hope for change.
Common Symptoms
Constant anxiety, hypervigilance, or feeling unsafe at home
Loss of self-confidence and questioning your own judgement
Isolation from friends, family, and support networks
Financial dependence or control over resources
Trauma responses including flashbacks, nightmares, or panic attacks
Depression, hopelessness, or thoughts of self-harm
Physical symptoms like headaches, sleep disturbances, or chronic pain
Difficulty trusting others or recognising healthy relationship patterns
History of Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Understanding domestic abuse has evolved from viewing it as a private matter to recognising it as a serious crime with profound psychological impacts requiring specialised support.
1970s
The women's liberation movement brought domestic violence into public awareness, establishing the first refuges and recognising it as a widespread social problem rather than isolated incidents or private family matters.
1990s
Legal frameworks began recognising domestic violence as a serious crime, with specialist courts and protection orders developed, whilst research revealed the cyclical nature of abuse and its psychological impacts on survivors.
2010s
Coercive control was recognised as a distinct form of abuse focusing on psychological domination and control tactics, leading to specific legislation in many countries including England and Wales in 2015.
Present
Modern understanding emphasises trauma-informed approaches to support, recognising complex PTSD, the neurobiological impacts of abuse, and the importance of specialised therapeutic interventions that prioritise safety, empowerment, and healing.
History of Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Understanding domestic abuse has evolved from viewing it as a private matter to recognising it as a serious crime with profound psychological impacts requiring specialised support.
1970s
The women's liberation movement brought domestic violence into public awareness, establishing the first refuges and recognising it as a widespread social problem rather than isolated incidents or private family matters.
1990s
Legal frameworks began recognising domestic violence as a serious crime, with specialist courts and protection orders developed, whilst research revealed the cyclical nature of abuse and its psychological impacts on survivors.
2010s
Coercive control was recognised as a distinct form of abuse focusing on psychological domination and control tactics, leading to specific legislation in many countries including England and Wales in 2015.
Present
Modern understanding emphasises trauma-informed approaches to support, recognising complex PTSD, the neurobiological impacts of abuse, and the importance of specialised therapeutic interventions that prioritise safety, empowerment, and healing.
History of Domestic Abuse & Coercive Control
Understanding domestic abuse has evolved from viewing it as a private matter to recognising it as a serious crime with profound psychological impacts requiring specialised support.
1970s
The women's liberation movement brought domestic violence into public awareness, establishing the first refuges and recognising it as a widespread social problem rather than isolated incidents or private family matters.
1990s
Legal frameworks began recognising domestic violence as a serious crime, with specialist courts and protection orders developed, whilst research revealed the cyclical nature of abuse and its psychological impacts on survivors.
2010s
Coercive control was recognised as a distinct form of abuse focusing on psychological domination and control tactics, leading to specific legislation in many countries including England and Wales in 2015.
Present
Modern understanding emphasises trauma-informed approaches to support, recognising complex PTSD, the neurobiological impacts of abuse, and the importance of specialised therapeutic interventions that prioritise safety, empowerment, and healing.
Take our free self-test
Take our free self-test
Take a short self-test to see if counselling might make a difference.
Take a short self-test to see if counselling might make a difference.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
How therapy can help
Trauma-informed therapy specifically designed for domestic abuse survivors provides a safe space to process experiences, rebuild self-esteem, and develop healthy relationship patterns. Therapeutic approaches focus on safety planning, recognising abuse patterns, healing from trauma, and rebuilding identity and autonomy.
Therapy helps address complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health impacts whilst developing coping strategies and boundaries. Specialised interventions may include EMDR for trauma processing, CBT for challenging negative self-beliefs, and group therapy for peer support and breaking isolation.
Benefits of Therapy
Process trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms
Rebuild self-esteem, confidence, and sense of identity
Learn to recognise healthy vs unhealthy relationship patterns
Develop safety planning and risk assessment skills
Address anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms
Build boundaries and assertiveness skills
Heal from complex trauma and develop emotional regulation
Connect with support networks and community resources
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about domestic abuse support and trauma-informed therapeutic approaches
How do I know if what I'm experiencing is actually domestic abuse or just relationship problems?
Domestic abuse involves patterns of controlling behaviour designed to dominate and manipulate. This includes emotional manipulation, isolation from support, financial control, threats, intimidation, or any physical violence. If you're questioning whether it's abuse, it's worth speaking to a specialist who can help you assess your situation safely.
Why didn't I leave sooner, and does staying mean I wanted the abuse?
Leaving abusive relationships is extremely complex and dangerous, often the most high-risk time for escalating violence. Staying is never about wanting abuse - it's about survival, fear, financial dependence, children, isolation, trauma bonding, and many other factors. There's no shame in how long it takes to leave or seek help.
Can therapy help if I'm still in the relationship or not ready to leave?
Yes, therapy can help even if you're not ready or able to leave. Support focuses on safety planning, understanding the dynamics, building coping skills, and preparing for whatever decisions you make in your own time. Therapists understand that leaving isn't always immediately possible or safe.
Will I ever be able to trust people or have healthy relationships again after domestic abuse?
Recovery is absolutely possible. Whilst healing from domestic abuse takes time, many survivors develop fulfilling, healthy relationships and learn to trust their instincts again. Trauma-informed therapy can help process experiences, rebuild self-trust, and develop skills for recognising and maintaining healthy relationships.
How therapy can help
Trauma-informed therapy specifically designed for domestic abuse survivors provides a safe space to process experiences, rebuild self-esteem, and develop healthy relationship patterns. Therapeutic approaches focus on safety planning, recognising abuse patterns, healing from trauma, and rebuilding identity and autonomy.
Therapy helps address complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health impacts whilst developing coping strategies and boundaries. Specialised interventions may include EMDR for trauma processing, CBT for challenging negative self-beliefs, and group therapy for peer support and breaking isolation.
Benefits of Therapy
Process trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms
Rebuild self-esteem, confidence, and sense of identity
Learn to recognise healthy vs unhealthy relationship patterns
Develop safety planning and risk assessment skills
Address anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms
Build boundaries and assertiveness skills
Heal from complex trauma and develop emotional regulation
Connect with support networks and community resources
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about domestic abuse support and trauma-informed therapeutic approaches
How do I know if what I'm experiencing is actually domestic abuse or just relationship problems?
Domestic abuse involves patterns of controlling behaviour designed to dominate and manipulate. This includes emotional manipulation, isolation from support, financial control, threats, intimidation, or any physical violence. If you're questioning whether it's abuse, it's worth speaking to a specialist who can help you assess your situation safely.
Why didn't I leave sooner, and does staying mean I wanted the abuse?
Leaving abusive relationships is extremely complex and dangerous, often the most high-risk time for escalating violence. Staying is never about wanting abuse - it's about survival, fear, financial dependence, children, isolation, trauma bonding, and many other factors. There's no shame in how long it takes to leave or seek help.
Can therapy help if I'm still in the relationship or not ready to leave?
Yes, therapy can help even if you're not ready or able to leave. Support focuses on safety planning, understanding the dynamics, building coping skills, and preparing for whatever decisions you make in your own time. Therapists understand that leaving isn't always immediately possible or safe.
Will I ever be able to trust people or have healthy relationships again after domestic abuse?
Recovery is absolutely possible. Whilst healing from domestic abuse takes time, many survivors develop fulfilling, healthy relationships and learn to trust their instincts again. Trauma-informed therapy can help process experiences, rebuild self-trust, and develop skills for recognising and maintaining healthy relationships.
How therapy can help
Trauma-informed therapy specifically designed for domestic abuse survivors provides a safe space to process experiences, rebuild self-esteem, and develop healthy relationship patterns. Therapeutic approaches focus on safety planning, recognising abuse patterns, healing from trauma, and rebuilding identity and autonomy.
Therapy helps address complex PTSD, anxiety, depression, and other mental health impacts whilst developing coping strategies and boundaries. Specialised interventions may include EMDR for trauma processing, CBT for challenging negative self-beliefs, and group therapy for peer support and breaking isolation.
Benefits of Therapy
Process trauma and develop healthy coping mechanisms
Rebuild self-esteem, confidence, and sense of identity
Learn to recognise healthy vs unhealthy relationship patterns
Develop safety planning and risk assessment skills
Address anxiety, depression, and trauma-related symptoms
Build boundaries and assertiveness skills
Heal from complex trauma and develop emotional regulation
Connect with support networks and community resources
Frequently Asked Questions
Common questions about domestic abuse support and trauma-informed therapeutic approaches
How do I know if what I'm experiencing is actually domestic abuse or just relationship problems?
Domestic abuse involves patterns of controlling behaviour designed to dominate and manipulate. This includes emotional manipulation, isolation from support, financial control, threats, intimidation, or any physical violence. If you're questioning whether it's abuse, it's worth speaking to a specialist who can help you assess your situation safely.
Why didn't I leave sooner, and does staying mean I wanted the abuse?
Leaving abusive relationships is extremely complex and dangerous, often the most high-risk time for escalating violence. Staying is never about wanting abuse - it's about survival, fear, financial dependence, children, isolation, trauma bonding, and many other factors. There's no shame in how long it takes to leave or seek help.
Can therapy help if I'm still in the relationship or not ready to leave?
Yes, therapy can help even if you're not ready or able to leave. Support focuses on safety planning, understanding the dynamics, building coping skills, and preparing for whatever decisions you make in your own time. Therapists understand that leaving isn't always immediately possible or safe.
Will I ever be able to trust people or have healthy relationships again after domestic abuse?
Recovery is absolutely possible. Whilst healing from domestic abuse takes time, many survivors develop fulfilling, healthy relationships and learn to trust their instincts again. Trauma-informed therapy can help process experiences, rebuild self-trust, and develop skills for recognising and maintaining healthy relationships.
Meet our Therapists
Meet our Therapists
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
At Manchester Counselling, we are pleased to introduce Grant Fairlie (MBACP), a counsellor with over 1,900 clinical hours and more than three years of practice. Grant brings a background in drama education and specialist experience supporting neurodiverse adults and adolescents.
More
Adults (18+)
Introducing Andrea Szentgyorgyi, a UKCP-registered integrative psychotherapist with over 1,000 clinical hours. Andrea combines person-centred, solution-focused therapy with advanced techniques including hypnotherapy and EMDR, creating a tailored and flexible approach for each client. With 6 years of experience, she provides a safe and supportive space to explore challenges and promote lasting emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
At Manchester Counselling, we’re proud to introduce Isabella May Leonard (MSc), an experienced person-centred psychotherapist offering therapy for adults. With over 2,500 clinical hours, Isabella brings warmth, compassion, and professional depth to her practice, with experience across private practice, NHS Talking Therapies, and third-sector services. She provides both short- and long-term therapy, creating a safe and reflective space where clients can explore challenges at their own pace.
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Adults (18+)
Jayne Tamsett is a BACP accredited counsellor with a BA (Hons) in Counselling & Psychotherapy and over 4,700 clinical hours. She works with adults experiencing anxiety, trauma, depression, and relationship challenges. Her practice offers an inclusive and compassionate space where clients feel heard, understood, and supported in their personal growth
More
Adults (18+)
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
At Manchester Counselling, we are pleased to introduce Grant Fairlie (MBACP), a counsellor with over 1,900 clinical hours and more than three years of practice. Grant brings a background in drama education and specialist experience supporting neurodiverse adults and adolescents.
More
Adults (18+)