Understanding
Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
Overcoming negative self-perception and building a healthy, balanced sense of self-worth
Understanding
Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
Overcoming negative self-perception and building a healthy, balanced sense of self-worth
Understanding
Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
Overcoming negative self-perception and building a healthy, balanced sense of self-worth
What do self-esteem & confidence issues feel like?
Living with low self-esteem means carrying a persistent inner critic that questions your worth, abilities, and right to take up space in the world. This creates a constant background of self-doubt that affects decisions both big and small, from avoiding social situations to declining opportunities that could lead to growth or success. The experience often involves comparing yourself unfavourably to others whilst dismissing your own achievements as luck, timing, or not being "good enough" compared to what others might have done.
The daily reality includes feeling like an imposter in your own life, anticipating criticism or rejection, and struggling to accept compliments or positive feedback. Many people describe feeling trapped in a cycle where low confidence leads to avoiding challenges, which then reinforces the belief that they're not capable or worthy, creating a self-perpetuating pattern of limitation and missed opportunities.
Common Symptoms
Persistent negative self-talk and self-criticism
Avoiding new challenges or opportunities due to fear of failure
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
Comparing yourself unfavourably to others constantly
Seeking excessive approval or validation from others
Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Social anxiety and avoiding social situations
Feeling like an imposter despite achievements
What do self-esteem & confidence issues feel like?
Living with low self-esteem means carrying a persistent inner critic that questions your worth, abilities, and right to take up space in the world. This creates a constant background of self-doubt that affects decisions both big and small, from avoiding social situations to declining opportunities that could lead to growth or success. The experience often involves comparing yourself unfavourably to others whilst dismissing your own achievements as luck, timing, or not being "good enough" compared to what others might have done.
The daily reality includes feeling like an imposter in your own life, anticipating criticism or rejection, and struggling to accept compliments or positive feedback. Many people describe feeling trapped in a cycle where low confidence leads to avoiding challenges, which then reinforces the belief that they're not capable or worthy, creating a self-perpetuating pattern of limitation and missed opportunities.
Common Symptoms
Persistent negative self-talk and self-criticism
Avoiding new challenges or opportunities due to fear of failure
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
Comparing yourself unfavourably to others constantly
Seeking excessive approval or validation from others
Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Social anxiety and avoiding social situations
Feeling like an imposter despite achievements
What do self-esteem & confidence issues feel like?
Living with low self-esteem means carrying a persistent inner critic that questions your worth, abilities, and right to take up space in the world. This creates a constant background of self-doubt that affects decisions both big and small, from avoiding social situations to declining opportunities that could lead to growth or success. The experience often involves comparing yourself unfavourably to others whilst dismissing your own achievements as luck, timing, or not being "good enough" compared to what others might have done.
The daily reality includes feeling like an imposter in your own life, anticipating criticism or rejection, and struggling to accept compliments or positive feedback. Many people describe feeling trapped in a cycle where low confidence leads to avoiding challenges, which then reinforces the belief that they're not capable or worthy, creating a self-perpetuating pattern of limitation and missed opportunities.
Common Symptoms
Persistent negative self-talk and self-criticism
Avoiding new challenges or opportunities due to fear of failure
Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback
Comparing yourself unfavourably to others constantly
Seeking excessive approval or validation from others
Perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Social anxiety and avoiding social situations
Feeling like an imposter despite achievements
History of Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
From character weakness to recognised psychological concern requiring support
Early 1900s
Psychology begins examining self-concept and self-regard, with early theorists like William James exploring how individuals form opinions about their own worth and capabilities
1960s
Psychologist Nathaniel Branden popularises the term "self-esteem," establishing it as crucial for mental health and connecting low self-worth to various psychological difficulties
1980s-90s
Cognitive behavioural approaches identify negative thought patterns and core beliefs as key factors in low self-esteem, leading to targeted therapeutic interventions
Present
Modern psychology recognises self-esteem as multifaceted, integrating approaches from CBT, compassion-focused therapy, and acceptance-based treatments to build genuine, resilient self-worth rather than superficial confidence
History of Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
From character weakness to recognised psychological concern requiring support
Early 1900s
Psychology begins examining self-concept and self-regard, with early theorists like William James exploring how individuals form opinions about their own worth and capabilities
1960s
Psychologist Nathaniel Branden popularises the term "self-esteem," establishing it as crucial for mental health and connecting low self-worth to various psychological difficulties
1980s-90s
Cognitive behavioural approaches identify negative thought patterns and core beliefs as key factors in low self-esteem, leading to targeted therapeutic interventions
Present
Modern psychology recognises self-esteem as multifaceted, integrating approaches from CBT, compassion-focused therapy, and acceptance-based treatments to build genuine, resilient self-worth rather than superficial confidence
History of Self-Esteem & Confidence Issues
From character weakness to recognised psychological concern requiring support
Early 1900s
Psychology begins examining self-concept and self-regard, with early theorists like William James exploring how individuals form opinions about their own worth and capabilities
1960s
Psychologist Nathaniel Branden popularises the term "self-esteem," establishing it as crucial for mental health and connecting low self-worth to various psychological difficulties
1980s-90s
Cognitive behavioural approaches identify negative thought patterns and core beliefs as key factors in low self-esteem, leading to targeted therapeutic interventions
Present
Modern psychology recognises self-esteem as multifaceted, integrating approaches from CBT, compassion-focused therapy, and acceptance-based treatments to build genuine, resilient self-worth rather than superficial confidence
Take our free self-test
Take our free self-test
Take a short self-test to see if counselling might make a difference.
Take a short self-test to see if counselling might make a difference.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
Instructions
Answer the questions based on the last few weeks. Choose the option that fits best. You’ll see your results at the end.
This short self-test explores whether therapy could be helpful for you right now. It isn’t a diagnosis, but it can help you decide next steps.
How therapy can help
Therapy for self-esteem and confidence issues uses approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to identify and challenge negative thought patterns whilst building more balanced, realistic self-perceptions. Compassion-focused therapy helps develop self-kindness and reduce harsh self-criticism, whilst behavioural experiments gradually build confidence through successful experiences. Therapists work to uncover underlying beliefs about self-worth, often rooted in early experiences, and help develop healthier, more resilient foundations for self-esteem.
Treatment emphasises building genuine self-acceptance rather than superficial confidence, developing skills for self-compassion, and learning to take appropriate risks for personal growth. Many people experience significant improvements in self-regard within months, as they develop tools for managing self-criticism and building a more balanced, authentic sense of their own worth and capabilities.
Benefits of Therapy
Challenging negative thought patterns and self-criticism
Building genuine self-acceptance and self-compassion
Developing resilience against criticism and setbacks
Learning to recognise and celebrate personal strengths
Improving assertiveness and communication skills
Reducing perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Building confidence through graduated exposure to challenges
Creating a more balanced, realistic self-perception
Frequently Asked Questions
Building healthy self-esteem and lasting confidence
What's the difference between self-esteem and confidence?
Self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth and value as a person, whilst confidence is your belief in your ability to handle specific situations or tasks. You can have healthy self-esteem but low confidence in particular areas, or feel confident in some skills whilst struggling with overall self-worth.
Can you have too much self-esteem?
Healthy self-esteem is balanced and realistic, whilst inflated self-esteem or narcissism involves an unrealistic view of oneself often hiding underlying insecurity. True self-esteem includes self-awareness, the ability to acknowledge mistakes, and respect for others, rather than superiority or entitlement.
How long does it take to improve self-esteem?
Building healthier self-esteem is gradual, with many people noticing small improvements within weeks of starting therapy. Significant, lasting changes typically develop over months as new thought patterns become established and behavioural changes reinforce positive self-regard through experience.
Is low self-esteem always related to childhood experiences?
While early experiences often influence self-esteem development, adult experiences like trauma, relationship difficulties, work stress, or major life changes can also impact self-worth. Therapy can help regardless of when or how self-esteem issues developed.
How therapy can help
Therapy for self-esteem and confidence issues uses approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to identify and challenge negative thought patterns whilst building more balanced, realistic self-perceptions. Compassion-focused therapy helps develop self-kindness and reduce harsh self-criticism, whilst behavioural experiments gradually build confidence through successful experiences. Therapists work to uncover underlying beliefs about self-worth, often rooted in early experiences, and help develop healthier, more resilient foundations for self-esteem.
Treatment emphasises building genuine self-acceptance rather than superficial confidence, developing skills for self-compassion, and learning to take appropriate risks for personal growth. Many people experience significant improvements in self-regard within months, as they develop tools for managing self-criticism and building a more balanced, authentic sense of their own worth and capabilities.
Benefits of Therapy
Challenging negative thought patterns and self-criticism
Building genuine self-acceptance and self-compassion
Developing resilience against criticism and setbacks
Learning to recognise and celebrate personal strengths
Improving assertiveness and communication skills
Reducing perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Building confidence through graduated exposure to challenges
Creating a more balanced, realistic self-perception
Frequently Asked Questions
Building healthy self-esteem and lasting confidence
What's the difference between self-esteem and confidence?
Self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth and value as a person, whilst confidence is your belief in your ability to handle specific situations or tasks. You can have healthy self-esteem but low confidence in particular areas, or feel confident in some skills whilst struggling with overall self-worth.
Can you have too much self-esteem?
Healthy self-esteem is balanced and realistic, whilst inflated self-esteem or narcissism involves an unrealistic view of oneself often hiding underlying insecurity. True self-esteem includes self-awareness, the ability to acknowledge mistakes, and respect for others, rather than superiority or entitlement.
How long does it take to improve self-esteem?
Building healthier self-esteem is gradual, with many people noticing small improvements within weeks of starting therapy. Significant, lasting changes typically develop over months as new thought patterns become established and behavioural changes reinforce positive self-regard through experience.
Is low self-esteem always related to childhood experiences?
While early experiences often influence self-esteem development, adult experiences like trauma, relationship difficulties, work stress, or major life changes can also impact self-worth. Therapy can help regardless of when or how self-esteem issues developed.
How therapy can help
Therapy for self-esteem and confidence issues uses approaches like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) to identify and challenge negative thought patterns whilst building more balanced, realistic self-perceptions. Compassion-focused therapy helps develop self-kindness and reduce harsh self-criticism, whilst behavioural experiments gradually build confidence through successful experiences. Therapists work to uncover underlying beliefs about self-worth, often rooted in early experiences, and help develop healthier, more resilient foundations for self-esteem.
Treatment emphasises building genuine self-acceptance rather than superficial confidence, developing skills for self-compassion, and learning to take appropriate risks for personal growth. Many people experience significant improvements in self-regard within months, as they develop tools for managing self-criticism and building a more balanced, authentic sense of their own worth and capabilities.
Benefits of Therapy
Challenging negative thought patterns and self-criticism
Building genuine self-acceptance and self-compassion
Developing resilience against criticism and setbacks
Learning to recognise and celebrate personal strengths
Improving assertiveness and communication skills
Reducing perfectionism and fear of making mistakes
Building confidence through graduated exposure to challenges
Creating a more balanced, realistic self-perception
Frequently Asked Questions
Building healthy self-esteem and lasting confidence
What's the difference between self-esteem and confidence?
Self-esteem is your overall sense of self-worth and value as a person, whilst confidence is your belief in your ability to handle specific situations or tasks. You can have healthy self-esteem but low confidence in particular areas, or feel confident in some skills whilst struggling with overall self-worth.
Can you have too much self-esteem?
Healthy self-esteem is balanced and realistic, whilst inflated self-esteem or narcissism involves an unrealistic view of oneself often hiding underlying insecurity. True self-esteem includes self-awareness, the ability to acknowledge mistakes, and respect for others, rather than superiority or entitlement.
How long does it take to improve self-esteem?
Building healthier self-esteem is gradual, with many people noticing small improvements within weeks of starting therapy. Significant, lasting changes typically develop over months as new thought patterns become established and behavioural changes reinforce positive self-regard through experience.
Is low self-esteem always related to childhood experiences?
While early experiences often influence self-esteem development, adult experiences like trauma, relationship difficulties, work stress, or major life changes can also impact self-worth. Therapy can help regardless of when or how self-esteem issues developed.
Meet our Therapists
Meet our Therapists
Jayne Tamsett is a BACP accredited counsellor with a BA (Hons) in Counselling & Psychotherapy and over 4,700 clinical hours. She works with adults experiencing anxiety, trauma, depression, and relationship challenges. Her practice offers an inclusive and compassionate space where clients feel heard, understood, and supported in their personal growth
More
Adults (18+)
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
At Manchester Counselling, we are pleased to introduce Grant Fairlie (MBACP), a counsellor with over 1,900 clinical hours and more than three years of practice. Grant brings a background in drama education and specialist experience supporting neurodiverse adults and adolescents.
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Adults (18+)
Introducing Andrea Szentgyorgyi, a UKCP-registered integrative psychotherapist with over 1,000 clinical hours. Andrea combines person-centred, solution-focused therapy with advanced techniques including hypnotherapy and EMDR, creating a tailored and flexible approach for each client. With 6 years of experience, she provides a safe and supportive space to explore challenges and promote lasting emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
Jayne Tamsett is a BACP accredited counsellor with a BA (Hons) in Counselling & Psychotherapy and over 4,700 clinical hours. She works with adults experiencing anxiety, trauma, depression, and relationship challenges. Her practice offers an inclusive and compassionate space where clients feel heard, understood, and supported in their personal growth
More
Adults (18+)
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)
Jayne Tamsett is a BACP accredited counsellor with a BA (Hons) in Counselling & Psychotherapy and over 4,700 clinical hours. She works with adults experiencing anxiety, trauma, depression, and relationship challenges. Her practice offers an inclusive and compassionate space where clients feel heard, understood, and supported in their personal growth
More
Adults (18+)
Waqas Maqsood is an integrative counsellor and registered member of the BACP with over 600 clinical hours. Holding an MA in Integrative Counselling and a BSc in Neuroscience, he offers a holistic, flexible approach that supports clients with anxiety, trauma, low self-esteem, and life transitions.
More
Adults (18+)
Victoria is a compassionate and down-to-earth therapist with an MSc in Counselling and Psychotherapy and more than 1,900 clinical hours of experience. A registered member of the BACP, she supports both individuals and couples, offering a warm, collaborative space to explore relationships, self-worth, anxiety, and personal growth in a supportive environment.
More
Adults (18+)
Couples
Matt is an integrative counsellor holding a Diploma in Integrative Counselling with experience delivering more than 500 clinical sessions. He combines counselling, mindfulness, and meditation techniques to support clients with anxiety, depression, trauma, self-esteem issues, and life transitions, helping people build resilience, clarity, and a stronger sense of emotional wellbeing.
More
Adults (18+)